To rock or not to rock....that is the question?

OK so here's the deal. Since Marie is starting to get her teeth I REALLY want her to stop taking the bottle to go to sleep. This idea comes from my personal history of having lots-o-cavities when I was a child. Mom and dad tell me the dentist said it was because I would fall asleep with a bottle. I don't know how often my parents would brush my teeth at Marie's age but in the McDaniel household we try to brush at least twice a day (if I don't COMPLETELY forget, it happens). Last night she had a little bit to drink before I laid her in the crib but she wasn't aleep. She cried for about 7 minutes (I watched the clock like a hawk, I vow to not let her cry past 15 minutes...softy I know). Tonight I was sooo proud because she ate really well for dinner. She had about 6 ounces of formula after her meal. All seemed fine. In her room where it's dark, cool and fairly quiet I am rocking her, patting her back, softly humming a bedtime song. All the time she's rubbing her eyes, yawning and bouncing her head off my shoulder (I say bouncing because she will look up at you then slam her head in to your shoulder, then look up and then SLAM...repeat). I'm thinking ok NOW is the perfect time to lay her in the crib. So I kiss her. Put her down. Crying is already starting. I walk out of the room, close the door and look at the clock...7:51. Ok 7 minute countdown. 7:52 still come crying I hear the sounds of a little gag (normal for Marie when she's crying). 7:53 Crying, Gag, GAAAG, then I hear the sound of vomit hitting the floor. And repeat. DANGIT! So I go in to rescue my child. Turn on the lights. Not only is she convered in vomit but so is her bed and the floor. DANGIT! So what should I do differently? OR should I just forget about the whole idea and just remember to always brush her teeth twice a day? I really want her to have a healthy attitude about sleep but I don't want her to vomit every time I let her "cry-it-out." I don't think that would develop a good association with sleep. To be honest I guess I could have let her play a little longer after drinking the last bit of her bottle and be assured there are NO air bubbles in her tummy. But dangit when she cries hard she REALLY gets to gagging. So please contemplate and discuss. I've got vomit to clean up...

42 long

I've started this new workout program at my gym (which by the way is kicking my BUTT!!). Somedays I'm all alone in the locker room while I'm getting ready and other days it's full of all different ladies, like today. It just so happens as I was putting on my make-up and fixing my hair the water aerobics class ends. So here come all the "mature" women to get dressed after their workout. AND they start to chatting it up. Hilarious conversations! BUT one comment by one of the ladies made me laugh out loud. I could hear that they were noticing each others bodies and making little comments here and there. Then it got to the boobs. You know us women, we are never satisfied with our bodies. These ladies started making jokes about how saggy their boobs had become. One lady made some comment about "sweeping the floor" with hers...and then the funniest damn boob comment I have EVER heard in my life. The lady said "Yah now when I go to the store to buy a new bra and the assistant asks me my size I tell them 42 long!" Even now thinking about it I laugh out loud. I had to tell them I really enjoyed their conversations when I was on my way out of the locker room. Oh the joys of life...

Poor baby...

So my little angel is weirdly sick. I understand weirdly is not a word, but it is today! I think with ALL the rain we've had lately and the beginning of school the allergies and the viruses are CRAZY. She has so much congestion it's ridiculous. SO it makes her cough and then gag and then throw up. I was wearing my third shirt by 8 am and we woke up at 6:30. She is sleeping peacefully now. I really should be cleaning my SUPER messy house but I would rather write this little note. Even though she's a little under the weather she is still in such a good mood. She really is a good baby. I know I'm a little biased but I see lots of babies at my office to compare.

I really love being a mommy. Life would not be complete without Marie. I find myself just looking at her and staring at how beautiful she is becoming. I can not wait until she starts walking. I love to watch her discover new things and I know it's going to be a blast once she starts walking. Brad and I are gonna have to get her some good boots so I feel comfortable with her walking in the yard.

Where did the time go?

Well in 2 days my child will be 7 months old. I seriously can't believe she's closer to 1 year than her actual birth. That little turd is crawling ALL over the place and pulls herself up on practically all of the furniture and her toys. She can manage to "cruise" around some of her toys on foot but not very well just yet. I bet she's walking within the next month.

It's been very interesting these last couple of months. Brad's been out of town lots and my boss went on a vacation for about 2 1/2 weeks. SOOO it's been busy busy around the McDaniel household. There were many times I wanted to look in the mirror and see if superwoman was written on my forehead. When I did my first triathlon I thought "Hell if I can do this I can do anything." But now I say if I can manage to work full time and take care of a child by myself (with the help of daycare) then I can do anything. That's been a real test.

SO I do plan on completing my 3rd triathlon in May which will be in Florida. I'm pretty excited. I actually recruited some of my high school friends to join me...haha. I laugh because they may not like me very much after this thing. It's tough and I'm sure I'll be tortured myself.

On a sad note I found out my OB/GYN committed suicide this weekend. He was the doctor who delivered Marie. I wish I had told him how wonderful a doctor he was. There were sooo many times I wanted to ask him if he planned on working for a while because I was sticking with him until he retired. Suicide is so confusing for me. I can't ever believe someone could ever be so selfish to do that, but then how will anyone EVER know how they feel inside. The last time I saw him he actually gave me a hug before he said goodbye and he NEVER does that. I wish someone close to him had seen some signs. I have had a heavy heart since I got the news. Sorry to end the blog on such a sad note. I must remember life does go on. RIP Dr. Hagar.

Corona...of a different kind.

Miss Marie got congested and along came another ear infection. WELL we needed an antibiotic so here comes the diarrhea and the diaper rash. I had instructed the daycare to apply the Aveeno diaper rash cream on her bottom even if it looked ok to prevent any rash from forming. The rash didn't appear until about 5 days in to the antibiotic but once it was there...OMG! You could tell her tushy was a little uncomfortable. Well it just so happens my mother was in town this weekend. This lady has a few old school tricks up her sleeves. She had been talking about this cream for the longest time that works wonders for diaper rashes. I couldn't find at my local Walgreens or HEB, but all along I should have been looking at my local feed store where they sell horse and cattle supplies. Yes it is a cream that was made to put on horses and cattle (like for tender utters on a cow or a sunburned snout on a horse). SO as soon as Marie's Grrrny got here with that cream we started applying it. At first I was skeptical. But after one night of using the ointment her rash was fading. Mom also recommend we have a few cloth diapers on hand to let her "air out." We didn't get those until yesterday late so we really didn't get them cleaned and ready to wear until after Marie was alseep. She woke up this morning and the rash is practically gone! How cool is that. Thanks Grrrny and thanks corona (of a different kind).

The single mom life.

So let me start off by saying that Brad and I are still happily married. It's just he works away from the house 2 weeks at a time. I'm back to being part time after my job was going through a few technical changes and I needed to be full time for that. These past 2 days off have been wonderful for me to get the HUGE list of things done that have been patiently waiting on me and most importantly to spend a little more time with baby Marie. BUT boy am I tired. To think that 1 month ago I was still pumping every 3 hours is INSANE! No wonder I thought I was losing my mind!

And Marie is such a peach when we go to town. We were strolling through the mall yesterday, she now sits forward in her stroller. It's so cool to watch her watching the rest of the world.

Anyway the reason I wanted to post this was just it's the end of the day and I'm tired and whiny I suppose. I have the baby who needs to be tended to and then 2 dogs who seem to REALLY need my attention today as well. It's tough! Emotionally, financially I'm a married woman. Physically 2 weeks out of the month I'm a single mom. The emotional feelings about this are hard to put in to words. I'm not depressed because I LOVE my life, but I feel like people may see me as a person who's not too happy. As I was writing that I was thinking can exhaustion be an emotion? That would describe some things a little better. But how would life be if Brad was home 24/7? Sometimes I think it would be sooo awesome. But then other times I'm not so sure. He's not a stay at home 24/7 kind of guy so it would be hard for him.

PLUS this whole working out thing is not working out like I wanted...The image I see in the mirror should be motivation enough but it's not. I certainly don't want to end up getting too large that losing weight would be a horrible battle (although it might give me that chance to be on the biggest loser!! haha just kidding).

It's awesome having this blog because I would hate to always talk to someone about this stuff and always hearing negative things coming out of my mouth (because that gets REALLY annoying). Some may read this but most will not so I don't feel quite so titty babyish. It's good to get things off of your chest.

OK well now baby Paris is desperately needing some love from her momma so I guess I better go.

Fatness

Alrighty, this isn't baby weight anymore! Starting this week I'm going to get serious about weight loss. When I was still breastfeeding Marie I think I dropped below my prepregnancy weight (~162) BUT now, ugh. Well it's not that bad (I just weighed myself), 167 (and that's after 2 glasses of milk and 3 cookies)! I just feel SOO flabby and it looks like my belly has a few beers in it. I guess the cookies for breakfast don't help but someone needs to eat them before tomorrow or they will ruin my weight loss plans!! haha. Like that's the only issue I have to ruin my weight loss plans...GEEEEZ. I do however have a most fabulous running stroller now thanks to my wonderful husband. I could actually go running with her right now BUT it's Sunday morning and well I just don't want to. Before I was pregnant and while I was pregnant I worked out really well at lunch. The workout facility is literally right behind my office. So I have a quick change of clothes and walk right on over. I bring some lunch and eat before I start seeing patients in the afternoon. It was the best thing and will be again. I must get fit again before I get pregnant with another child or my body will just go to hell in a handbag (don't worry we don't want another baby anytime soon). So here's my public statement about weight loss. They say if you tell someone you are going to try and start a new program you need to tell a few people. Here's to weight loss!!

Work...

90% of the time I'm really pleased and happy when I leave work. Proud of what I've done. Then there's the other 10% when my heart is heavy because I'm thinking about a patient. Before I had Marie I wasn't as emotionally attached to the kids as I am now (especially the babies). There was a mom today. O.M.G. I would guess she wasn't any older than 25 and has 5 kids, all under the age of 7 (3 who are under the age of 3, one of those is 2 weeks old). Lord help this woman. I know how I felt when I had Marie and I was an educated woman and had a reasonable amount of help. But I could see it in her face that she was having a hard time with her life at that moment in time. Her education level would reflect what someone in Junior High might know, maybe because she was sleep deprived or maybe that's just her. I remind you she has had 5 kids total, she claims to have breastfed them all. She brought the baby in today because she is having lots of BM's. I was reading in the babies chart that she is on formula. So in my head I'm thinking "Oh SHIT! What's wrong with this little baby?" As I start to ask my questions I see that the mom is really frustrated and genuinely worried about her baby. Then I ask what the baby is eating. She replies "Pedialyte." I ask "WHY?!" Her reply "I called the ER and they said give her Pedialyte." Damn. Then she tells us she was breastfeeding before the pedialyte. I bet she didn't even tell the ER she was breastfeeding. That OR she just decided to give the baby Pedialyte (in other words she never called the ER, but just said that so she didn't seem stupid). Either way. The next words out of my mouth were "STOP the pedialyte, this is completely normal for your baby because you are breastfeeding." The baby also had a diaper rash, and while I'm talking to the mom the NP student who's with me (who has YEARS of wonderful pediatric nurse experience) is changing this poor little baby's diaper and putting cream on her tushy. AND THEN all of a sudden the baby has a BM and squirts out pure pedialyte on to the exam room floor. The student and I both look at the floor, then at each other, then the mom. "STOP the pedialyte. The baby is pooping pure pedialyte!" Immediately I decide we need to feed this baby some formula. I'm afraid the baby is going to starve! Honestly though the physical exam looked fairly normal expect for the diaper rash. She was a well hydrated (obviously) 2 week old female. Mom was having some problems with the WIC office (which is a whole other story) and couldn't seem to get any formula through them. So we gave her enough to make it for a while especially if she continues to breastfeed. At some point during all this I actually pick up the baby and just hold her. The setting was so stressful. The older child that was with her was running all over the exam room and the middle child was CRYING NONSTOP at the TOP OF HER LUNGS! As soon as we put a bottle in the baby's mouth she drank all that was in the bottle and went to sleep (pooooor baby). Later this afternoon I had a phone call, it's the mother. Crying she says "Jennifer I just wanted to tell you thanks for giving my baby formula. The WIC office was still taking too long so I just left without getting any formula." DAMN YOU WIC OFFICE! I realize there are plenty of people who take advantage of the system and maybe this woman has in the past but right now she has a 2 week old baby that REALLY REALLY needs this formula. I'm still worried to be honest. She's supposed to come back tomorrow. Like I said at the beginning...most of the time I love my job for really good reasons. Today I had a moment where I almost volunteered to take a baby home. I must learn to be compassionate but also have distance.

It's been a while

So where do I begin. The last post I was discussing how stressed out I was and how it was messing with my milk production. WELL I have officially stopped with the boob juice! Marie is now on formula full time and doing well. Thank goodness! It all started to end because she had one night where she just wouldn't settle down and couldn't sleep so I let her sleep on my chest. Well because I didn't want to disturb her to get up to pump I was eventually covered in milk by the morning. So that day I said I can't take it anymore!! The transition to formula was harder on me than it was for her. She is now also eating rice cereal and oatmeal cereal at daycare. She is sleeping like a champ at night! Life is gooood in the McDaniel household. I also started Marie on daily Singulair to help with her allergies and it's working very well to keep the ear infections away. I also have started a house cleaning schedule so hopefully there will be less allergies in the air when she's at home. Other than that we are doing good. Brad and I plan on taking a cruise in the fall so that will be fun!!

Daddy's girl...

More and more everyday Marie is getting to know her daddy. Because Brad works 2 weeks away from the house at a time it takes her a little while to warm up to him. But the last few days she has really been looking at her daddy and giving him big smiles. They certainly enjoy each others company!

So on Marie's medical side...she did end up having another ear infection. I really hope this trend stops! I don't want her to get tubes but we might be heading in that direction. Brad and I made some changes around the house so hopefully she will have less and less congestion, especially while she sleeps. She always seems to be so snotty in the mornings. We got a new filter for the AC and made some inprovements on the airflow and I also put a cool mist humidifier in her room. Seems to be working well. The first night we made the improvements she slept 9 hours straight! I know it wasn't just the improvements but it was nice to know they helped out.

ALSO (and this is more likely why she's been sleeping so well) I've been putting just a tad of cereal in her bedtime bottle. I wanted to see how her little body would handle it (doing well by the way!). We've tried a few times at home to eat the cereal with a spoon but she seemed to spit most of it out! Also I'm having daycare feed her some cereal at lunch. She seems to be handling that very well also. The lady told me this morning she ate all that she had for her and kept it all down. My sweet little baby is just getting so big, and by big I mean advanced! I can't wait for the day when she is able to get out of her bed and come sleep with her momma. I remember when I was little how I would go sleep with my momma. Those are special moments!

Life has been busy lately. I have been a little stressed and the stress seems to be jacking with my milk production! There is sooo much to the pumping thing (I think I've complained about this before) and that's adding to my stress. Brad and I had a discussion the other day about how I feel like my brain is on a constant full speed ahead and I never have a chance to stop and relax. I know if I stopped breast feeding Marie a little bit of stress would go away, but then guilt would replace it! I love the side effects that breast feeding has done for me and the obvious healthly things it's doing for Marie. I know at 6 months we will switch over to formula but I'm not sure I can handle it mentally if I swtched any sooner (unless I stop producing). I feel OCD about this! HAHA. I laugh but it's not that funny.

That's not the only problem though...My schedule has been so weird at work and I haven't been on a "normal" routine in quite some time. I love having the same schedule every week and here lately it's been all kinds of confusing! So I haven't been able to get into a workout routine or get my regular lunchtime naps (oh how I miss those). I know if I got some of that fixed the pumping thing wouldn't seem like such a big deal. Ohhh the joys and stresses of my life! "Welcome to motherhood" as all the girls in my office tell me everytime I start to open my mouth about my stresses!

Fever fever fever

So Marie has had this weird fever off and on for about 2 weeks now. I got another call from daycare today and I had to go pick her up. I took her back to my office and my boss looked her over and said there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with her. We talked back and forth for a while and he said watch her fever tonight and we will go from there. Ok sounds like a deal, so I take Marie back to daycare with a note stating there is no obvious infection. As I was getting ready to leave for the day we start talking again and he thinks it might be a good idea to check Marie's urine to make sure she doesn't have a bladder infection. SOO I am going to take her in tomorrow to have that checked. Poor baby. She will sit there and smile at you then she starts to cry for no reason. I will be happy once this stops. I thought breastfed babies weren't supposed to be this sickly! I can't imagine if I didn't breastfeed her...Hopefully the test will show good news and we can just assume it's a viral infection that seems to really LOVE Marie!

My Public Service Announcement!

Today I read an article in my "Parenting-early years" magazine that makes one of my greatest fears seem even worse. It was an article that discussed avoiding simple mistakes that threaten children's lives. It really focused on one mistake that has killed so many children, forgetting your child in the car. Direct from the magazine "The key culprits seem to be a change in daily routine, lack of sleep, and stress. It's certainly not about the kind of parent you are." I have never come close to forgetting Marie in the car but sometimes I feel sooo scatter brained/tired/stressed that I think it's possible. Reading this article gave me a few tips. They suggest putting your important articles in the back with the child so you must look in the back seat before you leave the vehicle. Also having a toy of the child's in the front seat with you to remind you about the baby. There are also websites that sell alarms when you leave the child in the back seat. I will now put all bags (diaper bag, pump bag, and purse) in the back seat with Marie. Therefore I pray I will never forget her or any future child in the vehicle. It reminds me that no matter how busy/stressed/tired I am I must slow down and always make the child first. How scary is that? I would literally go insane if....oh I can't even think about it. Hopefully this can help anyone out there around small children.

Tummy Sleeping

Marie is entering a new stage this week, tummy sleeping! It's so cute when I lay her down for bed...you think she's really asleep then she gets that leg kicking and within seconds she's on her belly. Now the fun part is that she usually starts crying right after she does this. I'm not sure if she thinks it's the torturous "Tummy time" while she's trying to sleep or she's still not used to the whole tummy sleeping thing. So now I just lay her down on her belly. She always keeps her head to one side and I'm worried she could develop torticolllis (which is an over development of one side of neck muscles causing the child to usually look to one side). I try to make her sleep on the other side but as soon as I leave the room she's got her head the original way. We'll get there.

Since Marie stopped nursing I'm really getting tired of pumping. Cleaning that damn thing is really getting on my nerves! And I've become so overtired that at night I don't pump, I'm afraid I'll fall asleep at the table while I'm pumping (haha, that would be cute). So instead of sleeping in today (which I really want to do) I'm up early pumping, fixing some breakfast and then shower. We shall go to church today and be thankful for everything (hopefully Marie is pleasant during service...haha)!

My new favorite song is apples and bananas! I can't get it out of my head.

Wow I just made some massive pancakes, they're and inch thick! I must either be a really good cook, or a really bad one...They taste good!

This is different

So my sweet precious baby is sleeping like a champ today! I've even been in and out of the car a few times and she stayed asleep! She's going to be in a grrrreat mood to play this afternoon. I'm so glad I'm home to spend the day with her. Hopefully it will lead to a great night and then we can have another great day tomorrow to play!

Like I've said before at night once she's asleep she only wakes up to eat and then goes back to sleep. Sometimes or rather here lately she's been throwing a HUGE fit when I'm trying to get her to sleep. SO last night after her bath I sat on the floor with her and gave her a massage. She liked it at first but then I could tell she was getting tired. When I let her eat she went to sleep pretty peacefully! I could get used to this!

On another note she has completely stopped nursing. I'm still pumping so she gets the breast milk. It's a little sad. I've tried several times but she arches her back and starts crying. I guess she knows what she wants... :( I would have to cross this bridge at some point just didn't think it would be this soon.

I went to my office today to clean out her ears and she does have ear infections...dangit! They aren't bad but she's so snotty right now I don't see them getting any better on their own.

Oh and when I came home today Paris left me a gift on the front porch...



What dog do you know that can catch a squirrel? Good dog Paris!!

This will end....right??

Poor sweet baby, or poor sweet momma? I think the both of us are feeding off of each others exhaustion. That girl doesn't take very good naps at home or daycare and with her new fussiness bedtime has become not fun for either of us. I don't know if she's teething or trying to get sick or what but THIS IS NOT FUN! I'm just venting I suppose. It's got to end at some point, I pray. I don't understand how a child who sleeps fairly well at night (still wakes up to eat but goes right back to sleep) can't nap for more than 45 minutes during the day. There are a few times at daycare she will sleep for about 2 hours but that's soooo rare. When I'm home with her I do everything in my power to keep those naps long and if she wakes up before I think she should I try my best to get to back to sleep. She wakes up from her naps happy but within an hour she's cranky again. She could probably take 5 naps a day but she won't. Oh I wish I had worked on her nap schedule more before I started back to work. That would have helped out, DUH JENNIFER!

Oh my...

WELL.....Marie has become a "crazy baby" (as one of my friends have put it about their infant girl). I got a call from daycare on Thursday...Marie has a fever. So I pick her up and she seemed ok. My friend watched her Friday afternoon and she said she was fine. TODAY however...CRAZY BABY! She is so uncomfortable and cranky it's unbelievable. Getting her to bed tonight was a nightmare! She seems to be running a low grade fever so I don't know if it's a virus, teething (she is chewing on her fingers like CRAZY), gas...

::SIGH::

It's times like these that make me realize I have no idea what I'm doing...haha (crazy laugh by the way).

Mothers day memories...

So Brad and I decided to head to west Texas for Mother's Day weekend. It started off really well but ended like a train wreck! My poor baby started to scream about 2 hours before we got home. By the time we did get home she was way past worn out. It took me about an hour to calm her down and once she was calm she passed out asleep. Poor baby. Brad and I both were a little stressed out from the crying and the trip and as soon as we were settled we both passed out ourselves. I hate it when Marie gets that tired. I don't think I'm going on a trip like that anytime soon, the grandparents get to come see us for a while.

Another event happening is I'm having someone come over and help me clean my house tomorrow. We discovered we had a mouse in the house before we left town. OH JOY! AND we bug bombed the house before we left so I need to get that dust off of my counter tops and tables. With the stress of the weekend I decided I can pay someone to help out for a few hours. But the lady is coming at 8am which means I have to leave the house by 7 am to get Marie to daycare and me back out to the house on time....OH JOY JOY! Maybe I can catch a good nap before I pick my darling child up from daycare.

Sleep...the new frontier!!

My dear child slept for 5 hours straight last night! Ate for 15 minutes and off to sleep again for another 4 hours. Ate at 5:30 then slept until I slowly woke her up at 8 so I could go to work. I forgot what it feels like to be rested. I understand this may not happen again for a while but one night of bliss sure does help a girl out!! It certainly was one of those days I wish I could have stayed home and played with her all day.

It's almost 7:30 and I'm fresh and clean. I don't have to work today so really I should be asleep but it's just so nice getting up and relaxing by myself. I suppose you could say I'm waiting on the husband and the child to get up so we can start our day. Miss Marie actually slept 5 straight hours last night. That hasn't happened in a very long time. I got up about 4 hours in to it wondering what was going on! HAHA. That's what happens. The baby finally gets some good sleep but momma never does. I even think Brad woke up one time to check on her. What a good daddy! I noticed at the 4o'clock feeding she had almost 5 oz! She is growing so fast. I'm going to get her measurements today at my office and see how much she's grown. I will let you know the results.

Brad and I are going to look at computers today. We currently use a laptop for our home computer but I was thinking if we get a new one it should be a desktop. Any tips if anybody reads this? We don't move to different spots in our house on the computer and we don't take our computer with us when we travel. We will mostly be using it for e-mailing the granparents pictures of the baby. It would be cool to have a program to edit photos and make them really pretty. I really like Dell but I am willing to switch if the price is right.

I hope everyone has a great day!!

2 years down...

Today is our 2 year anniversary! God bless my husbands soul. He puts up with more crap from me and rarely gives crap back (well not like I give him that is). I truly believe there is no one else more perfect for me in this big beautiful world. He is quite a unique man. There's not a day that goes by when he hasn't shocked me with something new. He has such a brilliant mind and yet there are times I wonder how the hell he has lived as long as he has with some of the stupid crap he's pulled...haha.

We have been suffering through this "No sleeping" phase with Marie since he's been home and this morning he asked me..."How you feeling this morning?" ME:"Exhausted, you?" HIM:"I'm pretty tired." ME:"Do you think you could do this alone?" HIM:"Heck no!" ME:"Now do you understand when I say I'm completely exhausted?" HIM:"yes."

Bless his soul. Thanks for 2 great years my love! I love you!

Let's give this a try

So with the help of some of my facebook friends I think I'm gonna start a blog. One friend tells me she writes to let family know how things are going the other just because. I know I have plenty to say at times and just want to talk (to myself, to the wall, whatever...haha). What if I had a cool project like the "Julie/Julia" movie? Umm no, I do however have a small child in my life that's like a project...haha. Let's see how this goes people!