Corona...of a different kind.

Miss Marie got congested and along came another ear infection. WELL we needed an antibiotic so here comes the diarrhea and the diaper rash. I had instructed the daycare to apply the Aveeno diaper rash cream on her bottom even if it looked ok to prevent any rash from forming. The rash didn't appear until about 5 days in to the antibiotic but once it was there...OMG! You could tell her tushy was a little uncomfortable. Well it just so happens my mother was in town this weekend. This lady has a few old school tricks up her sleeves. She had been talking about this cream for the longest time that works wonders for diaper rashes. I couldn't find at my local Walgreens or HEB, but all along I should have been looking at my local feed store where they sell horse and cattle supplies. Yes it is a cream that was made to put on horses and cattle (like for tender utters on a cow or a sunburned snout on a horse). SO as soon as Marie's Grrrny got here with that cream we started applying it. At first I was skeptical. But after one night of using the ointment her rash was fading. Mom also recommend we have a few cloth diapers on hand to let her "air out." We didn't get those until yesterday late so we really didn't get them cleaned and ready to wear until after Marie was alseep. She woke up this morning and the rash is practically gone! How cool is that. Thanks Grrrny and thanks corona (of a different kind).

The single mom life.

So let me start off by saying that Brad and I are still happily married. It's just he works away from the house 2 weeks at a time. I'm back to being part time after my job was going through a few technical changes and I needed to be full time for that. These past 2 days off have been wonderful for me to get the HUGE list of things done that have been patiently waiting on me and most importantly to spend a little more time with baby Marie. BUT boy am I tired. To think that 1 month ago I was still pumping every 3 hours is INSANE! No wonder I thought I was losing my mind!

And Marie is such a peach when we go to town. We were strolling through the mall yesterday, she now sits forward in her stroller. It's so cool to watch her watching the rest of the world.

Anyway the reason I wanted to post this was just it's the end of the day and I'm tired and whiny I suppose. I have the baby who needs to be tended to and then 2 dogs who seem to REALLY need my attention today as well. It's tough! Emotionally, financially I'm a married woman. Physically 2 weeks out of the month I'm a single mom. The emotional feelings about this are hard to put in to words. I'm not depressed because I LOVE my life, but I feel like people may see me as a person who's not too happy. As I was writing that I was thinking can exhaustion be an emotion? That would describe some things a little better. But how would life be if Brad was home 24/7? Sometimes I think it would be sooo awesome. But then other times I'm not so sure. He's not a stay at home 24/7 kind of guy so it would be hard for him.

PLUS this whole working out thing is not working out like I wanted...The image I see in the mirror should be motivation enough but it's not. I certainly don't want to end up getting too large that losing weight would be a horrible battle (although it might give me that chance to be on the biggest loser!! haha just kidding).

It's awesome having this blog because I would hate to always talk to someone about this stuff and always hearing negative things coming out of my mouth (because that gets REALLY annoying). Some may read this but most will not so I don't feel quite so titty babyish. It's good to get things off of your chest.

OK well now baby Paris is desperately needing some love from her momma so I guess I better go.

Fatness

Alrighty, this isn't baby weight anymore! Starting this week I'm going to get serious about weight loss. When I was still breastfeeding Marie I think I dropped below my prepregnancy weight (~162) BUT now, ugh. Well it's not that bad (I just weighed myself), 167 (and that's after 2 glasses of milk and 3 cookies)! I just feel SOO flabby and it looks like my belly has a few beers in it. I guess the cookies for breakfast don't help but someone needs to eat them before tomorrow or they will ruin my weight loss plans!! haha. Like that's the only issue I have to ruin my weight loss plans...GEEEEZ. I do however have a most fabulous running stroller now thanks to my wonderful husband. I could actually go running with her right now BUT it's Sunday morning and well I just don't want to. Before I was pregnant and while I was pregnant I worked out really well at lunch. The workout facility is literally right behind my office. So I have a quick change of clothes and walk right on over. I bring some lunch and eat before I start seeing patients in the afternoon. It was the best thing and will be again. I must get fit again before I get pregnant with another child or my body will just go to hell in a handbag (don't worry we don't want another baby anytime soon). So here's my public statement about weight loss. They say if you tell someone you are going to try and start a new program you need to tell a few people. Here's to weight loss!!

Work...

90% of the time I'm really pleased and happy when I leave work. Proud of what I've done. Then there's the other 10% when my heart is heavy because I'm thinking about a patient. Before I had Marie I wasn't as emotionally attached to the kids as I am now (especially the babies). There was a mom today. O.M.G. I would guess she wasn't any older than 25 and has 5 kids, all under the age of 7 (3 who are under the age of 3, one of those is 2 weeks old). Lord help this woman. I know how I felt when I had Marie and I was an educated woman and had a reasonable amount of help. But I could see it in her face that she was having a hard time with her life at that moment in time. Her education level would reflect what someone in Junior High might know, maybe because she was sleep deprived or maybe that's just her. I remind you she has had 5 kids total, she claims to have breastfed them all. She brought the baby in today because she is having lots of BM's. I was reading in the babies chart that she is on formula. So in my head I'm thinking "Oh SHIT! What's wrong with this little baby?" As I start to ask my questions I see that the mom is really frustrated and genuinely worried about her baby. Then I ask what the baby is eating. She replies "Pedialyte." I ask "WHY?!" Her reply "I called the ER and they said give her Pedialyte." Damn. Then she tells us she was breastfeeding before the pedialyte. I bet she didn't even tell the ER she was breastfeeding. That OR she just decided to give the baby Pedialyte (in other words she never called the ER, but just said that so she didn't seem stupid). Either way. The next words out of my mouth were "STOP the pedialyte, this is completely normal for your baby because you are breastfeeding." The baby also had a diaper rash, and while I'm talking to the mom the NP student who's with me (who has YEARS of wonderful pediatric nurse experience) is changing this poor little baby's diaper and putting cream on her tushy. AND THEN all of a sudden the baby has a BM and squirts out pure pedialyte on to the exam room floor. The student and I both look at the floor, then at each other, then the mom. "STOP the pedialyte. The baby is pooping pure pedialyte!" Immediately I decide we need to feed this baby some formula. I'm afraid the baby is going to starve! Honestly though the physical exam looked fairly normal expect for the diaper rash. She was a well hydrated (obviously) 2 week old female. Mom was having some problems with the WIC office (which is a whole other story) and couldn't seem to get any formula through them. So we gave her enough to make it for a while especially if she continues to breastfeed. At some point during all this I actually pick up the baby and just hold her. The setting was so stressful. The older child that was with her was running all over the exam room and the middle child was CRYING NONSTOP at the TOP OF HER LUNGS! As soon as we put a bottle in the baby's mouth she drank all that was in the bottle and went to sleep (pooooor baby). Later this afternoon I had a phone call, it's the mother. Crying she says "Jennifer I just wanted to tell you thanks for giving my baby formula. The WIC office was still taking too long so I just left without getting any formula." DAMN YOU WIC OFFICE! I realize there are plenty of people who take advantage of the system and maybe this woman has in the past but right now she has a 2 week old baby that REALLY REALLY needs this formula. I'm still worried to be honest. She's supposed to come back tomorrow. Like I said at the beginning...most of the time I love my job for really good reasons. Today I had a moment where I almost volunteered to take a baby home. I must learn to be compassionate but also have distance.

It's been a while

So where do I begin. The last post I was discussing how stressed out I was and how it was messing with my milk production. WELL I have officially stopped with the boob juice! Marie is now on formula full time and doing well. Thank goodness! It all started to end because she had one night where she just wouldn't settle down and couldn't sleep so I let her sleep on my chest. Well because I didn't want to disturb her to get up to pump I was eventually covered in milk by the morning. So that day I said I can't take it anymore!! The transition to formula was harder on me than it was for her. She is now also eating rice cereal and oatmeal cereal at daycare. She is sleeping like a champ at night! Life is gooood in the McDaniel household. I also started Marie on daily Singulair to help with her allergies and it's working very well to keep the ear infections away. I also have started a house cleaning schedule so hopefully there will be less allergies in the air when she's at home. Other than that we are doing good. Brad and I plan on taking a cruise in the fall so that will be fun!!