Crazy in Love....

Wow!!! It's been a little while since I posted my thoughts on this thing. Let me get you up to speed.

Brad has started his job overseas again. Not in Lybia this time but in Algeria. So far it's been a fairly decent experience for him. It takes some adjusting for him when he gets there and then when he gets back home. So that means some adjusting for Marie and myself as well. I have thoughts at times wishing the world would pause while he's gone (that's not going to happen). Marie is developing at such a fast rate I hate for him to miss a thing and I hate for her to go through certain things without her father right by her side. Then there's the hope that things will be all "rainbows and butterflies" when he gets home, but the truth is life goes on!! Any family that has to deal with a loved one gone for a while must adjust to the first shock of them gone but then deal with their shock of being thrust back in to the daily grind of raising a family. It takes a great deal of patience to not completely lose your composure and smile when dealing with tough situations. Some of those situations may not be all that hard in normal circumstances but because of the new stresses everyone has to deal with it can get tough!! I try to take things day by day. There are some days I wish I could erase but we must grow and learn from every situation.

Marie will have a little sister in March!! I'm excited, scared, nervous. Marie has been my sweet baby girl since before she was born. I have poured my heart and soul in to that little girl (maybe a too much, I dunno) and I'm nervous for her and what she's going to think when little sister comes in to this world. My only sibling is a half brother that I really don't have the best relationship with. I have cousins who I love and adore as my sisters. They are the closest thing I have to sisters and if Marie has half the relationship with her sister as I do with them then this is going to be the coolest thing for her. Even before we got pregnant with #2 I had thoughts of my love expanding. How in the world does anyone love more than one child? I know this may sound weird but I didn't know what amount of love I would have for Marie before she was born. I'm not really sure that it's a sharing of love but an expansion of love. Maybe I'm nervous because I have never loved like this before. As a child your first love is your mom and dad. Then you love your siblings (maybe even your pets). As you get older you develop love for other family members, boyfriends, best friends, etc. THEN you get married. You think you could never love anyone as much as much you love your partner. BUT my OH MY...here comes that first child. Geeez. I love Marie so much it hurts!! It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it. So my nerves are all excited because feeling a love x2, OH WOW!! Then I think about the future...how the hell is Brad going to deal with 3 hormonal females in the same household? LOL. He may be wishing for a job out of the country to get away from all the drama!! Hell I may want to leave the country!! Maybe all this practice with Brad's current job situation will help with our care and patience for the future with 2 daughters. This does of course mean there will be a number 3. I always said I wanted about 4 kids. After I had Marie I thought "OK maybe 1 is good enough!" BUT here we goooooo. I just want to give this second baby girl all the attention that Marie got as a baby without interfering with the amount of attention Marie currently gets. I may be asking for a miracle but if I can do it I will!! Marie may have no problems with baby sister (I really hope not). She is such a momma's girl. Oh my...I can't believe I'm going to have 2 girls!!

Marie is such a sweet little girl. She gets more and more independent every day yet still needs her mom and dad for every other need. I am grateful for the things (mostly patience) that she has taught both of her parents. I can't believe she will be 2 in February!

Oh shit...I'm gonna be 30 in December...Wow.oh.wow.

Brad and I will be married 4 years in May with 2 kids!! What were we thinking?!?!

Ha.

Ha.